


The Question

by Vinushuka



Series: One year with Apocalyptica [22]
Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9437507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: While Perttu is touring in Australia Anna struggles to understand Patrik's behavior. Suddenly they are spending together much more time than before and getting to know each other properly . Finally, after a badly slept night, Anna get's her answer. Patrik has a question that puts their future in a completely new light and forces Anna to deal with the memories she has more or less consciously pushed aside.





	1. Is this a habit now?

# The Question

## Is this a habit now? (1)

Monday was a busy day at the studio. I had some last minute travel arrangements to take care of and Apocalyptica was having their second day of rehearsals for the Australia tour. Perttu could now move without difficulty so my massage must have been effective. We had a lunch together but our discussion was mostly about the coming tour. I left again a bit earlier while the guys remained at the studio to continue their rehearsal.

      I wasn’t expecting anything special from this school day because last Monday had been so magnificent. Therefore I was caught off guard when my phone buzzed and I saw that Patrik was calling me again.

“Hi Anna, would you care for a ride to school once more?” Patrik asked sounding particularly cheerful.

“Thanks, a ride would be very nice. When will you be here?”

“In twenty minutes. I will have to return a computer I bought from a webstore. You will get a ride to the store first if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind. Let me know when you’re here.” I replied happy that I got to spend so much extra time with him. I thought I was used to Patrik’s little surprises but this one made me slightly nervous. Was this ride to school becoming a habit?

      I had my dinner in a hurry while keeping an eye on the road in front of the house. He turned up exactly as promised and parked his car on the road side. When I was locking the front door I saw him step out of his car and pick up a bottle from the boot. I couldn’t help admiring his tall and very slender figure when I walked over to him. He was wearing a white shirt without a tie and straight trousers. He had left his jacket in the car although it was freezing outside.

“Hello, you look very handsome today!” I greeted him appreciating his tidy outfit and long ponytail.

When I was seated, he sprayed some cleaning agent from the bottle on the dashboard and wiped it dry with a cloth. I had never seen anybody take so good care of his car. “You should come and visit my car with that bottle someday”, I smirked. The car washing machines made me horrified and therefore my car was always dirty on the outside. I was a bit more particular about the interior of the car but now it needed a clean badly. I had been too tired to waste my energy on things like that.

      My nervousness was slowly subsiding now when I actually was together with Patrik. On our way to the shop we talked a lot about writing and reading books. I told him about my passion to write and my dream to do it in Japanese. I got the impression Patrik was also planning to write something but he didn’t tell me what it was.

      When we arrived at the webstore I asked if he wanted me to accompany him to the customer service or wait in the car. “Just come with me. This is one of my favorite places”, he said and collected the computer box from the back seat. We took a lift to the third floor where they had the service counter and I sat down to wait for him. Practicing kanji with my cell phone app was a good way to calm down my nerves.

“Would you like visit the viewing platform on the roof?” There’s a great view over Helsinki”, Patrik asked after he had returned from the service counter.

“Sure, I didn’t know they had one here”, I replied trying to hide my enthusiasm. The more time we spent doing things together the better.

      The view over the sea and the harbour area was truly magnificent but I was more interested in Patrik. When he wandered off to the opposite side of the terrace I dug up my cell phone and started to take pictures. In the process I managed to snap a shot of him walking towards me. I had always wanted to take photos of him but our lessons were always late at night and it was mostly dark then. Therefore I never got around to do it. Besides I knew he disliked being photographed and taking selfies.

      Driving through Helsinki with him felt somehow unreal, even absurd.  What was I doing here with this beautiful young man? I might very well be as old as his mother and I was pregnant to another man… I had to take a deep breath to return to the reality. He was just telling me something about his favorite foods and I clung to this discussion thread desperately to keep my weird thoughts at bay.

      “Do you want a cake with the coffee?” Patrik called from the cafeteria counter. I was sitting at his regular table reading our text book. The text for today’s lesson had been extremely difficult and I wasn’t sure I could understand everything.

“No, just coffee please”, I replied and smiled at him. He was a hopeless case when it came to sweet things like chocolate and cakes.

“I hope you’re not angry with me but I bought you a doughnut”, he grinned and pushed a plate with a pink, sugar coated doughnut under my nose.

“It’s very difficult to be angry with you”, I smirked and took a bite of the sugar coated monster. “How can you remain so skinny when you’re eating things like this? I get fat if I even glance at these.”

“It’s my digestion. My father was like this too.”

“Was? Has he passed away already”, I asked feeling compassion for him.

“Yes, he died three years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that”, I said quietly. It was much too early to lose one’s father at his age.

      To lighten up the atmosphere I started to tell him about my reading exercise. I had tried to read out loud the textbook chapter we were studying today and ended up completely exhausted. He of course insisted that I should read it to him but I declined. Finally we agreed that we would read it in turns. Actually it was very nice to struggle through this reading exercise with him. We were going to study together for many years still and I really loved the thought.


	2. It's all in the dreams

## It’s all in the dreams (2)

The memories of being together with Patrik kept swirling in my head when I was supposed to fall asleep in the evening after the lesson. Memories of his body against mine, his long hair falling over me when we were making love made me wriggle in my lonely bed. I was literally suffering without his touch. How could this be so difficult for me again? One day he was kissing me and telling that he loved me and another day he didn’t even lay his finger on me. Was I doing something wrong?

_I was lying on my bed with Patrik. His long hair spread on the pillow and his hand was resting on the sheet covering the lower part of his body. He was so beautiful lying there naked that I reached out my hand and caressed his chest with my fingers. He opened his eyes looking horrified and brushed my hand away like it was a spider…_

      I had to sit up on my bed and rub my face to make the dream go away. I didn’t want to even consider the possibility that he was finding me appalling because I was a woman, an old woman. I took a sip of water from the glass I had beside my bed and checked the alarm clock. It was four o’clock in the morning and I had still plenty of time to sleep. I curled under the duvet and closed my eyes hoping that the dream wouldn’t come back.

     _We were having team work at the institute but Patrik wasn’t there with me. He was idling in the neighboring table his long legs stretched out and joking with the boys. Then, all of a sudden he was at my table. I was so delighted that I tugged his arm to draw him closer. He took my hand and kissed it…_

      This new dream that I woke up from was better but I didn’t like the creepy feeling at the beginning. As I was wide awake again I started to wonder if he wanted to tell me something with these dreams. It looked like he was struggling to stay away but I had something that made him come back. The only “something” that came into my mind was Lumi. Our relationship had started to warm up again when I told him I was pregnant. The fact that Lumi was Perttu’s child didn’t seem to bother him at all. That was interesting considering the dispute Patrik and Mikael had about having children.

      I turned the facts I knew this way and that in my mind but I didn’t become any wiser. Patrik’s behavior was somehow erratic and I couldn’t understand why. I wasn’t sure I should ask him to help me with Lumi under these circumstances. Maybe I should wait and see how things developed.

      When I woke up in the morning to my alarm clock I was still tired. Today would be the last day of preparations before the Australia tour so I had better be at the office on time. The guys would be packing their personal belongings and gear for the tour so they probably wouldn’t show up at the office but I would have to be ready to offer my help if they needed it. Besides I was in the middle of arranging their Mexico tour in March.

     As I wasn’t expecting to hear anything from Patrik during the week I was a bit surprised when I received a message from him before I left to work.

“Whee! Naoki is arriving next Sunday. I’m going to meet him at the airport.”

“Great! Do you know any of the other guys arriving here?” I asked out of curiosity.

“I think one of them is a good friend of his. His name is Yusuke if I remember correctly. He is an older guy stationed before in USA.”

“Okay, I will have to hurry to work. The guys are travelling to Australia tomorrow. Have a good week!”

“Yeah, I know… Take care.”

Only two weeks to go and we would see if there was any hope to put an end on Patrik’s hopeless infatuation with Eicca. Thumbs up!


	3. The Question

## The Question (3)

The rest of the week was very quiet at the office now that the band was on tour. I had one of my maternity check-ups on Thursday but otherwise I concentrated on my Japanese studies. Patrik had found an interesting app for studying kanji and vocabulary so I downloaded it to my phone and got immediately hooked on it. Kanji were like dope for me.

      When Perttu phoned me on Sunday evening he sounded worried and wanted to know if I was alright. I was almost moved to tears when he told that he’d had a nightmare and wanted to check on me. He cared for me after all in spite of this thing with Johanna. We ended up having a long chat about their tour and Australia experiences which seemed to calm down Perttu and left also me on good mood.

       This time I had jitters about our Monday’s lesson already in the morning. Patrik had picked me up twice already so the third time sounded highly unlikely. I braced myself against the disappointment although the thought of not being able to talk with him was hard to bear.  Never say never. Against all odds I found myself sitting in his car travelling to the institute.

“How’s your cousin’s computer project going?” I asked assuming that Patrik had already done his part.

“I just installed everything he needs in his new computer. I just need a decent desktop picture and we’re done.”

       Okay, that explained everything. All good things must come to an end, so would my rides to school. How stupid can one be? This whole thing had nothing to do with me, it was Patrik’s kind heart and keen interest on computers.   

      Maybe I looked a bit downcast during the rest of our ride because Patrik gave me couple of worried glances. “Are you okay? “he finally asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired”, I replied trying to hide my teary eyes. Actually it was true that I was tired. My pregnancy was already quite far and I was getting bigger day by day.

“You need a cup of coffee and a cake to cheer you up”, Patrik told me when we had arrived at the institute. I didn’t oppose. I really needed something to make me feel better. He selected a big chunk of cheese cake on my plate and two large cups of coffee. “Just go and sit down. I will pay and bring these to the table.”

      I sat at the table thinking that this was probably the last time I had a chance to talk with him more than just ten minutes during our classes. “Didn’t you get anything for yourself?” I asked when he laid the tray in front of me.

“The other coffee is for me. I’m not very hungry at the moment.”

“You’re always hungry. Is something wrong?” I asked feeling worried.

“I guess I’m just nervous. There’s something I would like to ask from you, but I’m afraid that you will get angry.”

“Go ahead. I can take one question without getting angry”, I promised although his seriousness made me feel uneasy.

He stared at his slender fingers for a long time, took a deep breath and raised his eyes to meet mine. “Are you sure that this baby is not mine?”

I gaped at him dumfounded trying to remember what happened in last September. All I could recall was the crushing disappointment when Patrik told me he was gay and the new hope I had with Perttu.

“I fulfilled your third wish when you had already started working with Apocalyptica. It was on the second week of September. I made a note of it in my calendar because it was an important event in my life”, Patrik continued.

I had seduced Perttu during the first two weeks in September and we had made love then for the first time. My two relationships were overlapping during that time period. Considering my ovulation that time was a bit early but who knows how persistent Patrik’s semen was. Maybe the tiny guys waited inside me couple of days or perhaps my egg was early this time. Anyways there was only one conclusion I could make.

“Now that you ask, the answer is no. I can’t be sure. I was completely obsessed with Perttu when I noticed that I was pregnant. It didn’t occur to me that there was another possibility too. I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. We just have to wait and see till Lumi is born. It’s easy to find out who’s the father nowadays”, Patrik comforted me and took my hands into his.

I just couldn’t hold back my tears when my shame overwhelmed me. How could I ignore such a thing? “I’ve been a complete idiot. Please don’t hate me for that”, I apologized and held on to his hands.

“Don’t be silly! Why would I hate you? I made you give up on me when I told you I was gay. I wanted it that way…but now I’m not sure anymore.”

“Would you really like to be a father? It means a lot of responsibility and hassle”, I sniffled.

“I know what it means. I have an elder brother and he has kids…”

      Our discussion had made me feel better and I was relieved when I could finally understand Patrik’s motives. Maybe it was the right time to pop out my question.

“I was considering to ask you to move in with me to help me with Lumi for some time. Would that be an option for you now? I’m ready to accept your male relationships like I have done with Perttu. If you were Lumi’s father that would be a natural thing to do but if Perttu is the father I would still ask this of you.”

“It’s not a small thing you’re asking of me, especially if Perttu is the father. I’m not sure he would approve me living with you even temporarily.”

“I think he would. He knows he can’t be there for me and he has already approved you as Lumi’s godfather”, I pointed out.

“I can’t promise anything yet, but I will consider it. If I’m the father the solution is of course straightforward.”

      Patrik sipped his coffee and sank into silence as if he was considering something. “Shouldn’t you let Perttu know that he might not be the father?” he finally asked.

“I don’t think it’s wise at the moment. Besides the odds are on his side considering the intensity of our relationship at the time.”

“Like ten to one or what?” Patrik guessed.

“Six to one is probably close”, I confessed and blushed.

“You’re making me jealous. Maybe we should correct the numbers a little?” Patrik snickered.

Jeez, I couldn’t believe my ears! He was proposing to have a fuck with me just like that. I wanted to pinch myself to check that I was awake but I couldn’t because he was holding my hands.

“Err, sounds like a good idea although I don’t think it would help much with this fatherhood issue… ”, I smirked trying to stay composed. My body was screaming for him and I had to wriggle on my chair to ease the pain.

“I think we should go upstairs now, the lesson is starting.” I remarked after checking my watch.

“Yeah, maybe we should”, Patrik sighed and stood up looking a bit stiff.

“Are you having a problem with your back again?” I asked remembering his accident last autumn. 

“No, the problem is more on the front side”, Patrik grinned and glanced at his trousers.

“Oh, I see. Maybe we should do something about it then”, I proposed. “The classroom beside ours is always empty at this time.”

      We climbed the stairs and slipped into the neighboring room when no-one noticed. I opened his belt with shaky fingers and released his throbbing manhood from his trousers and briefs. I grabbed his dick into my hand, released the silky head and rubbed it gently with my fingertip. “Now, what do you want to do with this?” I whispered.

“You know what I want… you from behind”, he murmured and opened the zipper of my jeans. I turned my back at him, leaned against the table and gave myself to him. His dick slid inside me without efforts and felt perfect as it always did. “You’re absolutely delicious like this”, he breathed and pushed himself slightly deeper.

      The wall separating the classrooms wasn't very thick and we could hear the voice of our teacher faintly through it. I tried to stay quiet while I was approaching my orgasm but failed to do so on the final stretch. I just hoped my moaning didn’t disturb our classmates in the next room.

      We entered the class room about fifteen minutes late. My pink cheeks gave up our passionate encounter in the neighboring classroom and we earned a few cheeky comments from the guys sitting at the back row.  In spite of all the curious eyes following us we sat down at our table as if nothing had happened. I held my hand on Patrik’s thigh and concentrated on the lesson my brain sharp as a razor blade. Sex definitely enhanced my learning skills.


End file.
